This was my Thank you letter!

Sorry this is a little long, but I thought I would post this.. sorry if I forgot to send you one!

November 3, 2010

Dear loved Ones,
Whether you have supported me financially, emotionally, letter writing, praying for me or all of the above I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you guys would sacrifice for me.
It was a crazy forty-four days that I got to spend in Haiti but if God told me to do it all over again I would without hesitation, say yes! It was an amazing experience and God has opened my eyes in so many ways and I am so thankful that I had the many doors open in order for me to do this. To sum my trip up is a little hard; I have struggled with what to say and what people actually want to hear. So I am just going to start and if you would like to hear more I still have my blog up and will post the website, my email address and a number if you guys would want to call and get together.
From the first day of my trip, God taught me contentment, flexibility and patience. We had to stay the night in Detroit due to an airline mistake, which then led to us missing our flight to get to Haiti from Florida but I can honestly say that the hassle was worth it. There are some things that you cannot change and ya know ya just gotta let it go. I decided to try to make best of the predicament that we were in. While were going thru all of this I got to know Hal and Chris better, got to understand how the orphanage was founded and what they had to do to get there and I also got two meet two special little boys, Richie and Christopher. They were in the states on Medical visas and were having some things done way before the earthquake even took place. Richie was four and had a leg amputated due to cancer and Christopher was about a year and was hydrocephalic and was getting a shunt put in. To be honest, there were some kids that I came into contact with and just had to sit back and ask God why... Why the pain for this little one and not that one? Why the suffering for one so small? Christopher was one of them, if he were living in the states he wouldn’t have had to go back to a tent to live, he would have had the medical care that maybe could have helped more then what he was getting at home, to me humanly he would have just been safe. God knows what he is doing though. When we were staying the night at the hotel in Florida we were able to take the boys swimming. It was fun to see Chris take Christopher swimming. That may have been his first and last time doing that but the joy in his eyes of just calmness and fulfillment touched me. God is still God and God is still good. This trip was really going to be life changing.
There were some things I was ready for and thought I prepared my heart for and then there were some things that I did not even think of. I never imagined seeing families torn apart. You can call me naïve I admit it but again something I just didn’t really imagine I would be seeing. I got the privilege of meeting seven children who came into the orphanage, one of those seven I now sponsor. The family of four however was probably the hardest to see. Their parents still want them, they still crave to hold their children but they just can’t support them the way that they should. Can you imagine giving your kids away all four of them at the same time because you can no longer support them anymore and there is no family to really help you out either? Craziness...
Beyond the emotional trials I had there were also the physical trials as well. Getting use to showering outside, electricity going in out the dirtiness everywhere, having to throw the toilet paper away rather than flushing it, using a water bottle to brush your teeth rather than being able to use the water because it would make you sick. Those things however became routine day in and day out and really by the third week was so use to it I never really thought about it at all. However the infections are what hurt the most. I had gotten three while I was there one in my finger, one in my arm and the last one was on my foot. I thank God for the healing that he gave me I did have to get shots in which were hard for me because I do not like needles whatsoever. But God healed in his time and was there every step of the way.
There were also so many joys while I was there that it is hard to sum up all the events that happened. One thing however was taking the kids swimming. There was a ten year old and a six year old that have never been swimming before and I got to witness firsthand the joy on their faces when we first took them. The face was priceless… They were so joyous and grateful that they were able to go, what seems small to us as Americans is huge for them. For us we get to go as infants, early in life our parents try to teach us and help us along the way as we are just starting out, we have classes filled so we can learn the right way with floaties and water toys that overflow the pool sometimes. I am not saying all of this to make anyone feel guilty so if I am, I am sorry for that. I am just simply making the observation of how different it is for them. To be ten years old and never being able to go swimming was just different for me to hear, I remember being little and having my dad having me just jump in to try to teach me… he was there to catch me of course but still I got to try early. There were even fourteen and fifteen year olds clinging to us because they couldn’t swim, it’s one thing that I know I surely wouldn’t have thought twice about without going on this trip just a small blessing I realized while I was there.
The question that seems to come up a lot when I am talking to people is “okay, what exactly did you do?” well for the first week I was there I was pretty much a floater. One day I went grocery shopping with them in which total they filled eight carts full of food. For two weeks I was a nanny, one of the nannies had “vacation” time. I quote vacation because really theirs are different. They do not really go anywhere or see anything so it’s not like our vacations sometimes. While she was gone I got the joys and frustrations of helping out with the toddlers there were about thirteen of them and three of them had mental disabilities. Those three girls opened my eyes more than I thought they would. They all had the mind mentalities of two to three year olds yet they were 12, 9 and 8. Two could feed themselves and the nine year old we were trying to teach how to potty train. They lay heavy on my heart when I saw how the nannies treated them. Haitian’s in a way look down on those who are disabled and really do not show much attention to them. It was hard for me because I wanted to love them and bring them home. I wanted to show them how different life could be for them and just spend time with them. One girl particularly stole my heart. We had worked on affection the whole six in a half weeks that I was there. We went from hand holding to hugging and by the end of my trip she was playing with my hair and wanting to touch my face. For someone who cannot speak and struggles to be with someone to even let them touch her and for her to touch back is huge improvement... If this whole trip was only to spend time with this little girl and nothing else I would gladly say…thank you God for giving me this opportunity. For letting me see her, for letting me love her like you love all your children. After those two weeks, I was moving on to my fourth and fifth week; I was a teacher to the English speaking students. The curriculum is behind but I was still able to help with spelling and math. Some were advanced and craved to learn more while others struggled a bit but nonetheless it was a fun experience. We also watched the Ken Ham videos about creation and how it all evolved. I will say it was a little hard. I had to teach these kids words like Abortion and Homosexuality, They had no idea what it meant and on one of the videos both words popped up and for the longest time they just couldn’t understand why anyone would want to do that to their babies or why any man would want to marry another man. It was hard to explain just as it was hard for them to understand. But it all came down to sin and the selfishness of man. It was a humorous moment when two of the kiddos that were being adopted asked if it was in their state and how big it was in their state... I had to sadly say yes… One was going to California and the other to New York... They were not too happy about that. My last week in a half I was on what I like to call “Baby duty”, it was around the same time that I got the infection on my foot as well. I really wasn’t going anywhere so I stayed at the orphanage and helped Chris with a three month old. Around the same time, I was also helping set the new girl’s home in which they call H.I.S ER. It is a home for twenty-five girls who were in the tent cities and they are able to go through a program to be able to learn trade skills as far as hair styling cooking and clothes making. With these twenty-five, five of them are also pregnant they range from fourteen to sixteen years old... Hard to imagine being that young and pregnant, but being that young, pregnant and your baby having to go to an orphanage is a whole other story. They do not get to choose whether or not they can keep their children because Haiti doesn’t give them a choice and they cannot take care of themselves let alone a little one as well. Just one more thing to keep in mind and add to your prayers as well.
I will say it was hard to start this letter but now it seems harder to end. This trip was huge for me and God opened my eyes in so many ways. I have never experienced suffering in this matter but again this trip was worth it. Still adjusting to American life, I did end up taking this quarter off but am praying greatly for God’s future plans for me. Still trying to find that balance of what I learned on my trip and applying that into my life here at home.
Thank you again for supporting me, for praying for me...
God is still God and God is still good…
Teresa Crawfis